That's a Wrap

Back home. Actually, I’ve been home going on two weeks now. My return flight – Munich to Amsterdam to Atlanta to Minneapolis – was on July 3^rd. It was a long slog of a day and the most consecutive hours I’ve worn a mask since the Coronavirus epidemic began. Other than the fact that on my longest leg I had all four middle seats to myself, it was not a particularly fun day.

Fast forward to last Tuesday. Rochester, Minnesota. The Mayo Clinic. Tricia’s first intensive battery of tests since February. The days leading up to the appointment were stressful, and the day itself was no walk in the park for Tricia. It involved a painful ultrasound of her eye, an MRI of her chest and lungs, and ultrasounds of her abdominal organs. Thankfully, like the results from earlier in the year, things are looking good. The tumor on her eye is continuing to shrink and there is no sign of cancer spread anywhere else in her body. Great news and a huge sigh of relief! So now we'll live in a general state of peace and contentment until the tests roll around again in January.

So, with the medical tests and Tricia’s good news behind us, I wanted to write this one last post to reflect, as much as possible, on my incredible year in Germany. But first, the last couple of weeks in Bavaria. With the school year at MIS ending on June 26^th and me moving out of my apartment on the 27^th, needless to say, the second half of June was a whirlwind. School involved: finishing and recording English assessments of nearly all our English language learners; wrapping up all my classroom units, scores and grades; getting as many Head of Department documents as possible in order to hand off to the new Head; writing “thank you” notes and saying “goodbye” to all the staff who helped me throughout the year; writing cards to all my students; taking time to recognize the hard work of my EAL teammates; cleaning my office; tossing out heaps of papers; and, a whole mess of other things. And, my personal work involved: deep cleaning my apartment; taking a carload of items to the recycling center; packing; trips to the bank and Vodafone to close my accounts; deregistering as a German resident at the rathaus; selling my kayak; cleaning my garage; then, finally, meeting with my landlords for an apartment inspection and to hand over my keys. Whew. Yes. It was a lot.

Of course, there were some awesome memories created during those last couple of weeks, too. For starters, during the last week of school my friend, Matthew, declared that he’d be going to a different biergarten every night of the week and welcomed any and all of us to join him. I took him up on his offer most nights. So, that was great. Also, on the last Thursday of school, MIS had a half-day off which was meant to be a time to do something social with one’s team. Kristi, Frankie, Madison and I (not really an official team, but oh well) went out for a really long lunch on the beautiful patio of a Starnberg restaurant that overlooked the lake. Then, finally, on Friday, not only did we have an awesome end-of-year farewell BBQ at MIS where my teammate and friend Mirjam gave a heartfelt and funny speech on my behalf, but a bunch of us ended the night at an absolutely beautiful biergarten just south of Munich that featured a live jazz orchestra. It was a fitting, relaxing night to cap off an amazing year.

The week that followed saw me hunkering down with the Schmidts, an awesome family from Australia I’ve gotten close to during the year. Because my flight wasn’t until the Friday of the following week, I needed a place to crash for a bit. They were out of town visiting France and a theme park called “Europapark” most of the week, so I had their place to myself for several days. It was a Godsend. The Schmidts live in the tiny little farming village of Wangen, just east of Starnberg. After the chaotic month of June, the last frenetic couple of weeks of school, and the insanely stressful day of moving out, I was able to crash at their house and wake up the next day to the sounds of birds, roosters and cows. It was exactly what I needed. That week I did a ton of relaxing, a fair amount of walking, and a few last visits with friends. The week culminated in a bachelor party for Joe, who is marrying drama teacher Maddy, back in the States in July. By Thursday it was time to fully prepare to go home. By Friday, I was ready.

So, the year. The year in a nutshell. In one final blog post…

Looking back now, it already seems like a bit of a crazy dream. Like, “Why did I do that? What was I thinking?” Does that mean I regret it, or question my decision? Hell no. Not for a second. It’s just, now with the perspective of it, and being able to look back on it from a distance, it seems like quite a gutsy and strange thing to do all on my own at this age, under these conditions. But…I loved it. And I’d recommend an experience like this to anyone. In a heartbeat.

When I say I loved it, it’s not true to say I loved every minute of it. Not by a long shot. At the beginning, there were tears and stress and loneliness and a general questioning of whether I had done the right thing. With Tricia’s diagnosis in September there was grief and confusion and indecision. Winter brought with seemingly endless long, cold, dark days. And with COVID-19, the weeks of isolation dragged on for what felt like forever, with new friendships seemingly withering away and the feeling of isolation growing more painful every day. The year wasn’t easy. My job, at times, was hard. I missed my family and my friends back home, but rarely was the day that I wished I was back in Minnesota. I was living an adventure. And rising to the occasion. I was proud of myself, and I was determined to make it a remarkable year. A year to remember.

To say I was proud of myself throughout the year, and that I’m proud of myself now, might carry with it the implication that I’m bragging. I’m not. But I am proud. Proud that I was able to do something I wasn’t quite sure I’d be able to do. Proud of rising to the challenge of working at a new school and heading up its EAL department. And proud that I was able to make the most of what was given to me – that I was able to grab the bull by both horns and experience the shit out of a new country, a new culture, new friends and a radically different one-year “fantasy” life. If you read an earlier post, you know that I went into this year with a ton of trepidation due to anxiety and depression I’ve experienced at various points throughout my life. The fear of those things returning while I was in Germany was real. So real that I spent countless hours in therapy, reading books and listening to podcasts before I left in the hopes of learning as many coping mechanisms as I could should the anxiety or depression rear their ugly heads during the year. And rear their ugly heads they did – thankfully, mostly just the first few days of the experience. I dealt with them, used what I had learned in the previous weeks and years, and successfully moved on. So, to say I’m proud of myself for the risk I took and the successful, rewarding year I had is an unabashed, 100% true statement.

So… The good times... There were many. So many. From making lasting friendships to experiencing Bavarian culture to forming relationships with exceptionally special students to music and festivals to beer and pretzels to pork knuckles and to more beer and pretzels. The highlights were many. Dressing in traditional Bavarian trachten and experiencing my first Munich Oktoberfest; dancing the night away with tons of friends at the Tollwood Winter Festival for my 50^th birthday; the hundreds of kilometers I pedaled exploring the area on my Cube Nature trekking bike; traveling by train to what seemed like endless, beautiful, historic German cities; countless conversations and helles biers in the shade of chestnut-canopied  biergartens; downhill and cross-country skiing in the Austrian Alps; communal, nude saunas; picnics by the lake with friends; Tricia’s visit in January; Sammie’s visit in February; Kenia’s visit in September; Starkbierfest just a few days before the lockdown; hikes in the German Alps; my trip with friends to the Rhine River Valley; and so many others I can hardly remember them all.

It was quite a year. I feel so grateful to MIS for taking a chance on me, for the friends and family here who supported me, for my new friends in Germany who so kindly and generously embraced me and our adventure together, and especially for Tricia. I completely understand that most spouses would not have been nearly as supportive and encouraging as Tricia was. I am blessed and I know it.

So, what's next? Well, I'll be returning to Eden Prairie Schools to take an English as a Second Language job at Eden Lake Elementary. That's another thing to be grateful for - for EPS granting me a leave and providing me a job to come back to. I think it's going to feel good to return to something familiar and to a job I know pretty well. It's also going to feel less stressful, I think, to teach full-time and to not be in an official leadership position. I enjoyed being Head of Department at MIS, but I also think it will be a nice change to focus 100% on teaching, working with other teachers and building relationships with kids and families.

Personally, life will be an adjustment. One thing I already miss is life in a small town, and the adjacency of the beautiful countryside. I grew to love Starnberg and the surrounding area. I could take a short walk or bike ride to town, see friends, get a coffee, grab a beer or just sit by the lake. Or, I could ride about 5 minutes and be out of the town, in the forest or out in the farmland, cruising on my bike and feeling the freedom from people, and city streets and cars. Life in suburban America is going to take some getting used to again. Right now I feel a little smothered, knowing I'd have to drive quite a ways to get out into the countryside and away from stoplights and traffic and strip malls. I like St. Louis Park. As suburbs go, I'm not sure I'd want to be anywhere else. But it's that sense of walkability and bikeability and community and open spaces that I'll miss. 

For Tricia and me, it's living as empty nesters for the first time ever. And possibly working together every day under the same roof, depending on school reopenings and COVID-19 trends.That'll be a new one! But, I'm looking forward to it. I'm looking forward to the two of us reconnecting and making up for the lost time when we were apart. We're already planning a couple of "up north" outings before the summer is over.

And the future of this blog... Well, for now I'm going to put a pause on my regular blogging. As it is, I'm no longer a far "kreie" from home after all. But, will I again sometime soon embark on a new adventure? I hope so. A year or two in another country apart from Tricia? Well, let's just say that may never happen again, but there are other ways to set off on new adventures. Tentatively, I'm hoping next summer to visit Germany - with Tricia this time - and to go to the Tokyo Olympics in Japan. Those sound like reasons to blog in my opinion. We'll see how it goes. Hopefully COVID-19 won't again flip everything on its head.

So, goodbye for now. Thanks for tuning in. If you've been reading this and I haven't seen you in a long time, let's reconnect. I'd love to see you!